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when my parents complain about me image

(via bittersweetanxiety)

im gonna be hot in a few years i swear

(Source: mattressblowoutsale, via rocky-liang)

(Source: medz-and-fedz, via deothepotato)

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once my friend was waiting for her mom to pick her up and she called her mom and her mom said “im on my way, the traffic is just slow, im coming” and my friend went “mom i called the house phone”

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a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced

I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

(Source: toxicwinner, via deothepotato)

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*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that

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